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(Source: pizzastiel, via breast-milk-cheese)

a-sexy-cat:

vvebkinz:

sleepy is so much of a cuter word than tired everyone needs to stop saying tired and start saying sleepy starting now

I’m so sleepy of your shit

(via bitchyllama)

hellooooootrickster:

i have a friend who joined tumblr then i suddenly started getting texts like

“who the fuck is cousin matt?”

“what the hell is a sea pancake????”

“MOON… MOON?”

“what does everyone mean by Benedict is.. the.. real?”

“thats not an MRI scan wtf, why are they saying that?”

“who’s becky and what happened to her?”

and he ended up deleting his account 

(via captainmischief)

(Source: queenton, via as-gards)

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

(via listening-to-me-humming)

british:	american people are so annoying
chinese:	american people are so annoying
mexicans:	american people are so annoying
french:	american people are so annoying
americans:	we are so annoying
canadians:	I love maple syrup
australians:	we can do your accent but none of you assholes can do ours AHAHAHAHA

zeldabuddy:

travelingmadness:

proof-reads ask about 5,000 times before sending

proof-reads school essay about 0 times before sending

(via listening-to-me-humming)

dionthesocialist:

Sometimes, I wish I could ban my students from saying the word “gay” unless we’re specifically talking about homosexual people. Today one kid said that the ceiling was gay. Ceiling can’t be gay. Ceiling can’t even be straight. Ceiling is ceiling. Ceiling’s sexual preference is light bulb.

(via listening-to-me-humming)

indigostohelit:

so today i learned that in the late 1800s-early 1900s, the navy became concerned about possible homosexual activity among their sailors

so they sent in decoys, whose job was to pretend to want to engage in homosexual activity in order to find gay sailors

except then the job of the decoy got popular

like, really popular

like… worryingly popular?

reports said that the decoys were performing their jobs with “much enthusiasm and zeal”

eventually the navy decided. to. just stop.

(Source: swanjolras, via listening-to-me-humming)

50shadesofsolkat:

skrillidex:

mom, dad, im roosterteeth

the bible said adam and eve not adam and swiss fucking cheese

(via listening-to-me-humming)